My First Haitian Wedding and Ritter Field
I’ve been promising myself and some of you to return to blogging for months now. I think what finally made me sit down and write was the convergence of something which reminded me of memories I’ve shared with many of you and something about which a few of you are waiting to hear.
I’ve had many converstations (mostly jokingly) about how cool it would be if Ritter Field were host to a wedding, reception, or marriage proposal. Well, yesterday I witnessed something as close to that as I’ve ever seen. Minus any trace of wiffle ball, but on the island where Ritter Field truly belongs.
Yesterday was my friend Coicy’s wedding. He has been waiting to get married until he could afford to build a second floor of his house so that he and his wife would have a place to live. Currently he lives on the first floor where he selflessly takes care of his crippled uncle and elderly grandmother.
The first parallel between the wedding and Ritter Field was that invitations were entirely word of mouth. In November, Coicy told me over the phone he was getting married and followed that with “I think you will be in Les Cayes.” Although I had never been invited to a Haitian wedding before, I figured this was about as formal of an invitation as I would get, so I made plans to be there. Just like Sunday night wiffle ball, there was no need to RSVP. You could assume that it would happen like clockwork (well, maybe that’s not quite the best metaphor) and that you are welcome to come along with anyone else you wanted to bring.
In the middle of the day I arrived at Pere Ajax’s house, which is practically on the same back road as
American University of the Caribbean, where the wedding took place. I wandered over to find Coicy leading a team of people who were setting up the outdoor area for the wedding. I decided to lend a hand in an attempt to take a load off of Coicy, who in typical fashion was busy getting things done and serving when he had every right not to.
My first assignment was to set up folding chairs in a line, not unlike the “stands” at Ritter Field. I then watched and learned from some guys who were cutting parts of the grass with scissors to make a smooth surface for writing “Welcome” with rocks in the grass, a bit like the turkey or American flag for special events at Ritter Field. From my experience with taping bats, I taught my co-workers how to wrap ribbon in a spiral around two tree posts stuck in the ground, which functioned as the entryway for the wedding party. Being the tallest person there I was tabbed to hang a line of paper palm trees strung on a rope from trees at each corner of the “stage,” reminding me a bit of the challenges of hanging banners on the 4th of July.
What impressed me most about the whole set up was that it was done without duct tape. I’ve always said that any random group of Haitians would tear up the competition at Odyssey of the Mind, a creative competition I participated in as a kid. But building all of these things without duct tape and marshmallows officially put Haitians on another level in my mind.
I noticed two other parts of the set-up that bore striking resemblance to Ritter Field. First was the couch that looked like it had been left behind at a college dorm and which would become the seat of honor for the bride and groom. Again, I imagined the scene if only Haitians knew the joy of duct tape. Second were the speakers, which in combination with a working generator and a CD player would become a blaring sound system.
The sound system started up at roughly 5:45pm for the procession. This was only after Coicy and his bride and the 6 other members of the wedding party stood in plain view behind the entryway for a good 45 minutes. Coicy had told me the wedding started at 5, and when I asked for clarification about the start time from one of his good friends, his friend said he didn’t really know but he thought it started at 6 because that’s about the time that things like this normally start. I started my brief walk to the wedding at 5 and was second only to a large family that was seating themselves as I arrived. The next 45 minutes were filled with people arriving on motos in their absolute best clothes (many gowns and suits, with a large share of guys wearing pink shirts).
Shortly after I arrived, an SUV decorated with paper wedding bells taped on the windows pulled in. Out came Coicy, his wife Rosier, and the other members of the wedding party. While Coicy spent his time calling people involved in the festivities to tell them to hurry up, I spent my time reading the program. If it weren’t for the church I attended in Petionville last week, this would have been the first paper bulletin I had ever seen in a Haitian church setting. I learned that the wedding was indeed scheduled to start at 5. Although the late start was no surprise to me, what was surprising was seeing things like “5:02 to 5:04: Opening Prayer.” Who was Coicy kidding when he planned his wedding down to the minute, at the correct hour no less? Even though it may have taken us awhile to adapt at Ritter Field, we did come to the point when we would tell people to come at least an hour before our desired start time and we never seriously would have expected to follow all of our rituals down to the minute.
After nearly 45 minutes of standing at the entryway, the DJ cranked up Celine Dion’s “The Power of Love” and the procession began. The aisle couldn’t have been more than the distance from home plate to the left field foul pole at Ritter Field (about 50 feet), but it took the entire song for everyone to arrive at the podium and couch. While the last people were still trickling in on motos, the first woman in the procession danced down the aisle throwing paper confetti, which was the only thing between the party’s shoes and the grass. Behind her were two boys and a girl, probably about 3 or 4 years old, dressed to the nines and holding hands. Ironically these little ones had the most difficulty in making believe that the space between the two sections of chairs was like an aisle in church, and they proceeded to move down the aisle like bowling balls in a bumper bowling lane. Coicy’s face alternated between nervous horror and true pleasure as people on all sides of the kids put them back on track.
The ceremony was beautiful, and filled with ritual just like a typical Haitian church service. Most of it was in French, apart from the Celine Dion songs in English, which I suppose were similar to salsa and merengue at Ritter Field which set the right mood even though most people didn’t understand the words. Unlike many weddings I’ve attended in the states, the pastor actually asked if there was anyone who objected to these two being joined. He also sounded a bit like a play-by-play announcer when he relayed that both the bride and groom had both given “positive” responses to the questions posed to them. This seemed very formal to me, although I suppose that was partially due to the lack of a second microphone, which prevented the congregation from being able to hear much of what the bride and groom said. Other noises contributing to this may have been the cell phones going off during the ceremony and the roosters, which caused much annoyance and made me want to cut down their roosting tree just like we often wanted to cut down the pine tree in left center field.
The ceremony was captured on digital camera by a guy whose partner followed him with an extension cord and halogen lamps on a stand. It wouldn’t have been quite the same without these two roaming around the whole time, just like day games were never quite the same as playing under the lights.
After the ceremony, Coicy and Rosier got rushed by people from all sides, kind of like a post-game celebration on the mound. I waited in the line that more closely resembled a mob to congratulate and thank them. When this died down, the mystery man who walked Rosier down the aisle (her father was present but did not do so) gave an eloquent speech in a French/Creole mix and then announced that servers would bring food to everyone in their seats. Each person received a small Styrofoam plate with a piece of cake and three neatly arranged cheese curls along with your choice of King Cola or Toro, the Haitian versions of generic Coke and Red Bull. As I watched plates being served without napkins or silverware, I was reminded of Matt McCready, the little red-headed boy who had a habit of taking as much food during inning breaks as he was allowed to get away with. But watching people take multiple plates did not bother me like seeing a large empty bowl of popcorn in Matt McCready’s lap because unlike most people at the wedding, Matt McCready would do so after having eaten several times that day.
Of all the images from the wedding, I think the two that stick out the most to me are Coicy’s beaming smile, as always, and that Styrofoam plate with three cheese curls. Poverty met by hope, creativity, and an attitude of sharing the best you have to offer, no matter how much or how little that is. Beauty, tragedy, and joy. All at once. These are themes that play themselves out before my eyes every day in Haiti but were perhaps best put into images for me at Coicy’s wedding.